Even before i got one of my own, i always thought children were magic. Without the preconceived notions and inhibitions they’ll develop later on, they take in the world and give it back to you in the most amusing – and often enlightening if we’ll listen – ways.
But literally just a few minutes ago, i discovered an even greater power children posses. Apparently, they can take potentially explosive liquids and render them harmless. I’m not making this up. This comes straight from the “remove your flipflops” people at Oakland Airport.
Now that airlines solved the problem of grody tasting airline food – by just not serving any – i bring a few snacks of my own. Two things i grabbed from the fridge this morning – a bottle of water and a yogurt.
The water never even made it to the ID checker – being intercepted by the “3.4 ounces of liquid in a clear plastic bag” lady. No problem. I drank that potent stuff and brought the empty in with me to refill at a water fountain. But as for that yogurt… “Who’s bin is this?” i heard.
“Toss it,” i said, figuring my choice of words could determine which bay i’d be landing near – Chesapeake or Guantanamo. Then i smiled when they busted the woman in line behind me with milk. Her strategy though, was different. And more successful. “I have a baby,” she said.
So let’s see if i got this right. My clear-liquid and yogurt in sealed containers – midair boom. Her open container with white stuff? Well, the child will take care of that.
But wait, that’s not all. Until August 3, you can’t bring cigarette lighters onto the plane. That’s one i’m cool with. You can’t smoke on the plane anyway, and those things are filled with stuff that’s more flammable than even yogurt. But starting August 4, you can bring em. Apparently they’ll be safer then.
All i can say is that, if i were a parent with a missing child, the first place i’d be looking for em is the Zippo factory.
Filed under: War n' Terror
