I shot a terrorist in his pajamas

Before i get started here… i gotta say how thrilled i am to see that the media actually can perform its intended function of informing the public so people can make educated choices about who should represent them.

Case 1: It seems this young couple found a way to get the government to pay for their wedding. And we’re not talking by some Elvis impersonator in Las Vegas. We’re talking jillions of public dollars. In like the biggest clubhouse in England. But the media sniffed it out and covered the hell out of it so now we all know about their scam. And maybe the officials responsible will get voted out the next time around..

Case 2: Hasn’t it been nice not having to read about silly stuff in Libya? The media must’ve recognized that the conflict there is over and all the U.S. troops are home, so it isn’t making you read any more about it.

I also gotta credit the media with finally avoiding some of the distractions they always seem to wanna shove down our throats. Like leaked documents showing that government officials know that Pakistan lies through its teeth to us. Or that the House of Representatives is trying to give away oil fields and tax breaks to oil companies, while making it harder for most people to afford medical care. Yeah… i know they’re supposed to be representing our best interests, but we don’t have time to get bogged down by technicalities, do we?

The media doesn’t deserve all of the credit though. Turns out a few of our elected “representatives” (hmmm… i’ve seen this word before) also felt bad for us having to hear about all this stuff. Lucky for them… they’ve known for at least a year now where Osama bin Laden was living high on the lamb in some air-conditioned mansion. Yup… a killing was in order.

So they gave us a tasty snack. Literally… like telling us what snacks the dude kept in the cupboard. Or that his wife was killed when he used her as a human shield and was shooting from behind her during a fierce firefight. Or that it wasn’t his wife who was killed after all. Oh.. and he wasn’t using anyone as a human shield. And whadda ya know… he didn’t even have a gun. In fact… here’s what the Associated Press is reporting…

The commandos encountered gunshots from only one man, whom they quickly killed, before sweeping the house and shooting others, who were unarmed, a senior defense official said in the latest account.

We also learned his ex-body was dumped at sea in accordance with the laws of Islam. Just like those billions of other dead religious Muslims who became shark food… right? And how he got into his pajamas i’ll never know, because now we’re not gonna get the pictures we were promised.

Sure… you’re doing the happy dance cause he’s dead. Ding fucking dong. But be honest with me here… until this week you hadn’t even thought about Osama in like forever. Didn’t i point that out like 8 years ago?

But you wanna know the real funny thing? Forgetting him wasn’t such a bad idea. At least if “9/11” still gets your goat. Why? Because …and this is true… there is no known evidence that Evil Doer Numero Uno had anything to do with that attack.

I bet right now you’re thinking about now how easy it’s gonna be here to prove i’m a total nimrod. I mean… all you gotta do is find one shred of evidence that points to Yogi Beard. I gotta warn ya though… you’re gonna have to be better than the FBI. They couldn’t find anything. Really… look. In fact… their own wanted poster for him doesn’t even mention any airplane-related shenanigans.

But don’t just take my word for it. Paul Rea is a former college professor who has spent the past few years writing a book on “9/11”. So he seemed like a good guy to ask about it. Here’s what he said…

This gets complex, but the short answer is that the US couldn’t provide/didn’t have evidence when the Taliban asked for it in Sept. 01, and the FBI dropped charges against OBL (for 9/11) in 2006 for lack of evidence. Until my book comes out, History Commons would be a good source.

So now… tell me… exactly how do you “know” it was Mr. PJs who was responsible for stuff like the USA PATRIOT act, Gitmo, and not being able to take a fucking cup of yogurt through airport security? And no saying it’s because 2 presidents said so. Hell… one even lied about whether the caveman’s house had air-conditioning. I wouldn’t buy a used helicopter from either of em.

But don’t get me wrong. The world potentially is a better place without the guy. After all… between exposing him and that daring British duo, all that scary radioactivity from Japan seems to have vanished. Haven’t heard much about that lately either.

Mission accomplished.

Someone else died last week. If you even know who Phoebe Snow was, you probably thought of her as one of those one-hit singers. But you’ll appreciate her infinitely more after you listen to this.

… so click the note to hear a fantasy you’re probably more familiar with
It’s from a benefit concert featuring people like Jewel, Roger Daltrey, and Jackson Browne. It would be worth the price of admission just for Jewel’s version of Over The Rainbow alone. You can find it here

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: